Mayuri Kurotsuchi: Spotlight

HOW THE FUCK DID OROCHIMARU BECOME THE SAFER OPTION??

Spoilers: Bleach through the Thousand-Year Blood War 

I saw a question floating around TikTok asking whether you’d rather be experimented on by Orochimaru or Mayuri Kurotsuchi, and I genuinely need to know what the fuck some of y’all are thinking.

Because listen, Orochimaru is terrifying. I’m not about to sit here and pretend that man’s hideout isn’t a collection of human rights violations with a snake problem.

But MAYURI?

Bitch, Mayuri makes Orochimaru’s hideout look like a trip to Disney World. What the fuck are we talking about?

This is a man who experimented on Quincies and proudly showed Uryū evidence of what he’d done to his grandfather. A man who turned his own subordinates into living bombs. And if you think dying would get you out of one of his experiments, I’d like to remind you what happened to Szayelaporro.

I don’t know what kind of survival strategy some of y’all have planned, but I promise you Mayuri has already thought of something worse.

And somehow, this is the man Soul Society keeps allowing to run an entire research division.

So yeah, we’re talking about Mayuri Kurotsuchi today, because apparently I looked at the Bleach workplace ranking and decided I hadn’t suffered enough.

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I think people sometimes forget just how fucking awful Mayuri was during the Soul Society arc because we’ve spent so much time watching him do increasingly ridiculous things since then.

Go back to his introduction, especially his encounter with Uryū Ishida.

Mayuri uses members of Squad 12 as living bombs while trying to capture Orihime and Uryū. Those are his own subordinates, by the way. People serving under his command who apparently made the unfortunate career decision of trusting their captain to send them into combat.

And then there’s Nemu.

Mayuri strikes her, insults her, and has absolutely no problem hurting her in front of somebody he’s trying to capture. He even cuts through her with Ashisogi Jizō while attacking Uryū, leaving her paralyzed along with him.

The weapon prevents movement while leaving the victim able to feel pain, because apparently ordinary paralysis wasn’t interesting enough for this man.

And somehow, his treatment of Nemu isn’t even the worst thing we learn about him during this fight.

Mayuri starts talking about his experiments on Quincies, including what happened to Sōken Ishida, Uryū’s grandfather. The same man who taught Uryū about his powers and whose death shaped so much of his resentment toward Soul Reapers.

Mayuri arranged for the Soul Reapers who could’ve protected Sōken to arrive late when Hollows attacked him. That gave Mayuri the opportunity to obtain his soul for research after his death.

Then he starts describing his experiments on other Quincies.

I’m not going to repeat every detail because, frankly, some of that shit is hard enough to read once. We’re talking about mutilation, vivisection, and experiments involving people being forced to harm their own families.

And Mayuri recounts it all with the enthusiasm of a man reviewing laboratory notes.

He even has a photograph of Sōken’s remains after the experiments.

BRO.

WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT?

Imagine finding out that your grandfather died because some scientist wanted another specimen, and then having that scientist casually explain the whole thing to your face.

Uryū eventually pushes himself to the point of using Letzt Stil against Mayuri, and I cannot blame that boy for a single ounce of the anger he brings into that fight.

Even after Uryū overwhelms him, Mayuri escapes by stabbing himself through the neck and turning his body into liquid.

Because apparently defeating this man isn’t enough. You also have to account for whatever horrifying modifications he’s installed in himself.

And despite everything we see him do during the Soul Society arc, Mayuri remains a captain.

We’re already off to a fantastic start.

The funniest part about Mayuri’s employment history is that Soul Society knew he was dangerous before he ever became a captain.

During Turn Back the Pendulum, we learn that Mayuri was being held in the Nest of Maggots, a detention facility where the Onmitsukidō confined people considered potentially dangerous.

He was restrained and kept isolated from the other detainees.

Then Kisuke Urahara shows up.

Now, I love Kisuke. He’s one of my favorite Bleach characters, but sometimes I really need somebody to explain his decision-making process because what do you mean you went into the Nest of Maggots and recruited THIS MAN?

Kisuke wants to establish the Shinigami Research and Development Institute, and he recognizes Mayuri’s scientific abilities. He offers him a position as vice-president, with the possibility of eventually inheriting the institute.

And Mayuri agrees.

I’m sorry, but imagine being Hiyori during that conversation.

You follow your new captain into a detention facility, he introduces you to a man who’s literally been chained up because he’s considered dangerous, and then casually explains that this is his preferred candidate for a leadership position.

I’d have questions.

After Kisuke is exiled, Mayuri eventually succeeds him as captain of Squad 12 and president of the institute.

So Soul Society recruited a man from a detention facility, gave him access to laboratories and research materials, and eventually handed him an entire division.

I don’t know what kind of interview process the Gotei 13 was running, but somebody really should’ve reconsidered the hiring criteria.

The worst part is that Kisuke was right about his intelligence. Mayuri is a fucking genius, and he’s going to spend the rest of Bleach demonstrating exactly how much trouble one scientist can cause when he’s given enough resources.

If the Soul Society arc doesn’t convince you to stay out of Mayuri’s laboratory, his fight against Szayelaporro Granz should handle whatever doubts you’ve got left.

Because Szayelaporro is already awful.

He’s the Espada’s resident scientist, and his fight with Renji and Uryū establishes how much he enjoys controlling people through biological manipulation. He can analyze his opponents, interfere with their abilities, and create those horrifying dolls that let him damage their internal organs.

Then Mayuri shows up, and suddenly Szayelaporro has competition in a field I desperately wish nobody had invented.

Watching them fight is hilarious in the most concerning way because they’re both convinced of their scientific superiority.

Szayelaporro thinks he’s dealing with another opponent he can analyze and control. Mayuri, meanwhile, has already been gathering information on him through bacteria planted on Uryū.

So Mayuri’s been spying through somebody else’s body this entire time.

And when Szayelaporro starts destroying Mayuri’s organs through his dolls, Mayuri reveals he’s prepared replacements.

I’m sorry, sir, when did you have time to replace your organs?

Actually, never mind. I don’t want to know.

Then there’s the Superhuman Drug.

After Szayelaporro uses Gabriel to resurrect himself through Nemu, Mayuri reveals that the drug was already inside her. Szayelaporro has unknowingly ingested it.

The drug accelerates the recipient’s perception to an absurd degree, allowing them to experience an enormous amount of subjective time while their body continues moving normally.

At the concentration Mayuri administers, one second feels like a hundred years.

I need y’all to really sit with that for a minute.

Szayelaporro can perceive what’s happening, but his body can’t keep up with his mind. By the time Mayuri’s sword reaches him, what should’ve been a brief moment has become an impossibly long experience.

And Mayuri is standing there explaining the science behind it, which means this motherfucker actually sat down, figured out how to make someone experience a hundred years in a second, and decided that was worth keeping around in his laboratory.

I would love to know what the original research proposal looked like.

I’m not saying Szayelaporro deserved a pleasant ending after everything he did, but good fucking lord.

This is the man some of y’all are choosing over Orochimaru?

Mayuri also gives one of my favorite speeches in Bleach during this fight, which annoys me because I was having a perfectly good time hating him.

Szayelaporro believes he’s achieved perfection, and Mayuri finds the very idea insulting.

To Mayuri, perfection would mean science has nowhere left to go. There’s nothing left to improve or discover, and that’s the exact opposite of what he wants.

And I hate how much I like that argument.

Kubo had no business giving this man such an interesting philosophy immediately before reminding us that he belongs nowhere near an ethics committee.

Mayuri’s obsession with improvement explains why practically everything he uses is subject to modification, including his own body and Zanpakutō.

And considering what he eventually does with his Bankai, I’m starting to think even the sword would’ve benefited from a restraining order.

Most Soul Reapers spend years developing their relationships with their Zanpakutō.

Mayuri apparently looked at that entire spiritual relationship and asked whether he could install additional features.

His Bankai, Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō, is a giant poisonous caterpillar with a baby’s head, which feels like something I should’ve been warned about before seeing it for the first time.

Mayuri can alter its poison, and he’s even installed a mechanism to destroy the Bankai if it turns against him.

Imagine having such a concerning relationship with your own Zanpakutō that you’ve installed a self-destruct feature.

By TYBW, the modifications have gotten even more ridiculous.

During the fight against Pernida, Mayuri unveils Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō: Matai Fukuin Shōtai, a modified Bankai that can produce new versions of Ashisogi Jizō based on the information he provides.

Mayuri can study an opponent and use that information to develop a Bankai specifically designed to counter their abilities.

Pernida manipulates nerves, so Mayuri creates an Ashisogi Jizō with 70,000 layers of exposed nerves. When Pernida attempts to control it, the affected layers can peel away.

That’s an incredible countermeasure, except the exposed nerves cause the creature constant pain just from touching the air and ground.

And Mayuri considers that an acceptable part of the experiment.

I’m sorry, but WHAT?

You engineered a version of your own Bankai that’s suffering just by existing, and your response is basically that the pain doesn’t interfere with its usefulness?

I would genuinely love to know what Ashisogi Jizō thinks about its owner’s career choices.

One of the strangest things about watching Bleach is realizing I’ve actually started looking forward to Mayuri showing up. I’ve watched this man mistreat Nemu, sacrifice his own subordinates, and casually discuss experimenting on people like they were defective equipment. Yet whenever another ridiculous enemy appears, I catch myself wondering what kind of scientific bullshit Mayuri would pull out against them.

By the time Thousand-Year Blood War rolls around, he’s become one of Soul Society’s most valuable assets, although the whole situation with the 28,000 Rukongai residents is a pretty fucked-up reminder of how he operates.

Early in the arc, Mayuri admits that he ordered Squad 12 to kill 28,000 Rukongai residents to correct the imbalance caused by the Quincies destroying Hollows. He explains that it was necessary to preserve the balance of souls, since letting things continue could’ve caused a much bigger catastrophe.

Now, I understand there’s an actual emergency happening here, but the conversation that follows is fucking insane.

Yamamoto questions why Mayuri acted without authorization, and Mayuri argues that waiting around for permission would’ve made the situation worse. Fair enough, except Yamamoto then admits he would’ve approved the decision if Mayuri had asked.

SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE?

Twenty-eight thousand people are already dead, and these two are arguing over whether Mayuri should’ve gotten permission first. Yamamoto also brings up Squad 12’s failure to properly report and address the earlier warning signs, which Mayuri responds to by reminding him that he’d warned Yamamoto about the Quincy threat years ago.

So now we’re arguing over who should’ve listened to whom while twenty-eight thousand people are already dead. Wonderful organization y’all are running.

And because apparently Soul Society hasn’t suffered enough, the war continues with Mayuri bringing out even more ridiculous inventions against the Sternritter.

When Giselle Gewelle starts turning Soul Reapers into zombies, Mayuri responds by bringing out modified Arrancar. I’m talking Dordoni, Cirucci, Luppi, and Charlotte, all back because Mayuri found their bodies in Szayelaporro’s laboratory and decided they still had research potential.

The disrespect is astronomical. Imagine dying, getting brought back by Mayuri Kurotsuchi, and discovering that your second existence comes with mandatory employment and disciplinary electrocution because this man actually installed a way to shock them when they won’t stop arguing.

Then there’s poor fucking Hitsugaya, who apparently can’t go one arc without somebody putting him through some new bullshit.

After Giselle turns him into a zombie, Mayuri uses a drug that makes Hitsugaya repeatedly experience their confrontation. Every time Hitsugaya reaches the point of killing him, he finds himself back at an earlier moment, increasingly confused about what the hell is happening.

So Mayuri has found another way to fuck with somebody’s perception of time, and somehow I’m relieved because at least this time he’s using it to deal with a zombified captain.

He also figures out how Giselle controls the zombified Soul Reapers through her blood. Using blood samples collected from Gotei 13 members, Mayuri develops a drug that replaces Giselle’s blood in her zombies with a substitute of his own making.

So when he gets control of Kensei and Rose, he’s essentially stolen Giselle’s zombies.

BRO.

HE DIDN’T EVEN FREE THEM FIRST.

HE JUST CHANGED WHO WAS HOLDING THE REMOTE.

And the annoying part is that his preparations work. Hitsugaya survives, Giselle loses control of her zombies, and Mayuri gets to continue being insufferably pleased with himself.

I would’ve preferred literally anybody else finding a solution, but apparently we’re doing this.

We’ve known Nemu as Mayuri’s lieutenant since the Soul Society arc, but TYBW finally gives us the history behind her creation. I expected the Nemuri Project to be disturbing because, well, it’s Mayuri. What I wasn’t expecting was for the story to actually make me emotional.

Mayuri had been trying to create an artificial soul from scratch, and it took several attempts before he started making real progress. The fourth generation developed a brain, while the fifth reached the fetal stage. That research even contributed to the technology he used to modify his Zanpakutō. The sixth generation managed to survive long enough to develop to the equivalent of a two-year-old child before its cells stopped dividing and it died.

By the time Nemu came along as the seventh generation, Mayuri had already spent years trying to get this project to work. So when she survived beyond the point where her predecessor died, Akon tells us Mayuri was overjoyed.

I’m sorry, Mayuri Kurotsuchi was genuinely happy about something? And that something was Nemu surviving childhood? After everything we’ve seen from this man, I needed a minute to process that information.

Then we get this adorable little flashback where Nemu notices Mayuri has stopped calling her Nemuri Nanagō and started calling her Nemu instead. She asks Akon why, and he suggests Mayuri might be embarrassed about how attached he’s become to her. Even Nemu has trouble imagining Mayuri being embarrassed, which is fair because I’d love to know what that looks like too.

But Akon’s explanation makes sense when you consider how much time Mayuri spent trying to create artificial life that could actually survive and develop. Nemu’s growing up, learning new things, and doing what none of the previous generations got the chance to do. Every bit of progress is something Mayuri spent years trying to achieve, and now he’s getting to watch it happen.

I love this scene, especially how innocent Nemu’s question is. She’s just trying to figure out why Mayuri suddenly started calling her something different, while Akon’s over here suggesting that the same man who terrifies half of Soul Society might be too embarrassed to admit how happy he is watching her grow.

Which would be a hell of a lot easier to appreciate if we hadn’t already spent years watching how he treats her.

I can believe Mayuri’s pride in Nemu is genuine. Akon’s story makes that pretty clear, but I still can’t wrap my head around how the same man who celebrated her surviving childhood could treat her the way he did. Knowing their history makes what happens during the fight against Pernida even harder to watch.

Pernida Parnkgjas has one of those abilities that makes you understand why rushing into a fight with an unfamiliar Sternritter is a terrible idea. Kenpachi finds that out the hard way when Pernida starts manipulating his nerves, and considering what happens to his arm, I think most people would’ve taken that as a sign to stay the fuck away.

Mayuri, naturally, is fascinated. Somebody just introduced him to a sentient nightmare hand capable of controlling people’s bodies, and he’s already trying to figure out how it works. He spends the fight testing Pernida’s abilities and adjusting his approach based on what he learns, even bringing out his modified Bankai to counter its nerve manipulation. The problem is that Pernida keeps evolving, and eventually Mayuri finds himself in a situation where all that preparation isn’t enough.

That’s when Nemu decides to intervene.

She pushes her artificial body beyond its usual limits to protect him, revealing just how powerful she’s become. We even see her weaponize a portion of her own soul, which is something I definitely wasn’t expecting when we first met her back in Soul Society.

And I can’t get over the timing of it all. Mayuri has spent years trying to create artificial life capable of growing beyond its original limitations, and now Nemu is doing exactly that while he’s desperately trying to keep her from getting herself killed. She’s making her own decisions, showing him abilities he hadn’t anticipated, and putting everything she’s become into saving him.

Unfortunately, Pernida eventually tears her body apart and consumes most of it, although Mayuri manages to recover her brain. And because we’re dealing with Mayuri Kurotsuchi, even that ends up having consequences for the enemy.

Nemu’s body contains an organ responsible for accelerating cell division, with her brain helping regulate that growth. Once Pernida consumes her tissue, the cells begin multiplying uncontrollably until Pernida’s body can no longer sustain itself.

I swear, only Mayuri could end up defeating an enemy because eating his lieutenant turned out to be a terrible biological decision.

But knowing how Pernida dies doesn’t make Nemu’s death any easier to watch, especially after learning about her childhood. I kept thinking about that little girl asking Akon why Mayuri had started calling her Nemu instead of Nemuri Nanagō. She survived longer than any of her predecessors, grew into someone capable of surprising even her creator, and ultimately made a decision that cost her life.

And now Mayuri has to live with that.

There’s something particularly cruel about remembering how happy he was when Nemu first survived beyond the sixth generation’s lifespan. Back then, he’d been thrilled just watching her grow, even if he’d apparently rather die than admit that out loud. Now he’s lost the very person he’d spent so many years developing.

Thanks, Kubo. I really needed another reason to stare at my ceiling.

By the final chapter, we see Nemuri Hachigō, another generation of the project. Mayuri’s continued his research, and I’m sure he’s learned plenty from everything that happened with Nanagō.

I’m still not handing him a wholesome fatherhood award, though. We’ve seen far too much of how he treated Nemu for that, regardless of how much she meant to him.

The worst part about writing this Spotlight is that I’ve probably come away appreciating Mayuri even more.

Which feels deeply wrong considering everything I just wrote.

But Kubo really did create an incredible character.

Mayuri’s fights are some of the most entertaining in Bleach because there’s always some new scientific bullshit waiting to happen. He’ll get stabbed, reveal he’s replaced his organs, and then start explaining the experimental drug his opponent unknowingly swallowed fifteen minutes ago.

I don’t know how anybody prepares to fight that.

And his designs?

Listen, I have no explanation for what goes through this man’s head when he’s getting dressed, but I respect Kubo for giving him the freedom to show up looking like a completely different laboratory nightmare whenever he feels like it.

The glowing TYBW outfit alone cracks me up. Soul Society is falling apart, people are dying, and Mayuri has apparently decided this is the perfect time to dress like a walking fluorescent warning sign. And the worst part is that I love it.

His rivalry with Kisuke is just as funny. Mayuri took over the institute Kisuke founded, developed all kinds of ridiculous technology, and even managed to create artificial life. Yet somehow, Kisuke can still annoy the absolute shit out of him just by being Kisuke. Sir, you’re a captain with an entire research division to run. Go do your paperwork…

Actually, never mind. I don’t want to know what Squad 12’s paperwork looks like.

After going back through Mayuri’s history, I’m starting to wonder who I’m more pissed at: him for doing all this shit or Soul Society for repeatedly letting him get away with it. I thought I’d gotten most of my complaints about this man’s employment out of my system during the Bleach captain workplace ranking, but apparently I wasn’t done. Kisuke literally recruited him from the Nest of Maggots knowing he was dangerous, and the Gotei 13 has been benefiting from his questionable research ever since.

And after Yamamoto admitted he would’ve authorized Mayuri’s decision to kill 28,000 Rukongai residents during TYBW, I’m not particularly convinced anyone in charge is interested in drawing a line. I’d say somebody needs to drag Mayuri before Central 46, but considering how the whole Rukia execution fiasco went, I’m not sure those people should be trusted with the situation either.

At this point, I don’t even know why I’m surprised Mayuri has managed to keep his job. Look at the organization employing him.

Which bIf you want to revisit Mayuri and Nemu’s fight against Pernida, you can find it in Bleach, Vol. 71. Purchases through this link help support the Tavern at no extra cost to you.rings me back to the question that started this whole article.

Which brings me back to the question that started this whole thing: Orochimaru or Mayuri?

Listen, I love watching Mayuri fight, and half the time I’m genuinely excited to see what completely ridiculous invention he’s going to pull out next. Kubo somehow made this deeply unpleasant man one of the most entertaining characters in Bleach, which is great until I remember I’ve been cheering for somebody who’d probably consider my nervous system a promising research opportunity.

But would I actually let Mayuri within fifty feet of me? Absolutely the fuck not. This man could offer me a free medical consultation, and I’d immediately start checking whether my organs were still where I left them. So yeah, I’m picking Orochimaru in that hypothetical, and I hate that we’ve reached a point where choosing Orochimaru somehow feels like the safer option.

If you want to revisit Mayuri and Nemu’s fight against Pernida, you can find the conclusion in Bleach, Vol. 71. Purchases through this link help support the Tavern at no extra cost to you.

Pull up a chair.

And for the love of everything, don’t drink anything Squad 12 offers you!